Vulgar Tongue
It’s not really necessary to sing the praises of Francis Grose’s 1785 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (“Buckish Slang and Pickpocket Eloquence,” as my edition subtitles it). Simply to quote from it ought to be enough, so here goes. Filthy, grotesque and brutally incorrect, it’s nevertheless a defiantly vital argot, which is more than can now be said for anybody who ever spoke it.
ANABAPTST: a pick-pocket caught in the fact, and punished with the discipline of the pump or horse-pond.
BUCKINGER’S BOOT: The monosyllable.* Matthew Buckinger was born without hands and legs, notwithstanding which he drew coats of arms very neatly, and could write the Lord’s Prayer within the compass of a shilling; he was married to a tall handsome woman, and traversed the country, shewing himself for money.
CLAP. A venereal taint. He went out by Had’em, and came round by Clapham home; i.e. he went out wenching, and got a clap.
DRY BOB. A smart repartee; also copulation without emission; in law Latin, siccus roberlulus.
ETERNITY BOX. A coffin.
FIGURE DANCER. One who alters figures on bank notes, converting tens to hundreds.
GENTLEMAN OF THREE INS. In debt, in gaol and in danger of remaining there for life; or, in gaol, indicted and in danger of being hanged in chains.
HASH. To flash the hash; to vomit.
IRISH LEGS. Thick legs, jocularly styled the Irish arms. It is said of the Irish women, that they have a dispensation from the Pope to wear the thick end of their legs downwards.
JARKMEN. Those who manufacture counterfeit passes, licenses and certificates for beggars.
TO KEEP IT UP. To prolong a debauch. We kept it up finely last night: metaphor drawn from the game of shuttlecock.
LITTLE SNAKESMAN. A little boy ho gets into a house through the sink hole, and then opens the door for his accomplices; he is so called, from writhing and twisting like a snake, in order to work himself through the narrow passage.
MUMBLE A SPARROW. A cruel sport played at wakes and fairs, in the following manner: A cock sparrow whose wings are clipped, is put into the crown of a hat; a man having his arms tied behind him, attempts to bite off the sparrow’s head, but is generally obliged to desist, by the many pecks and pinches he receives from the enraged bird.
NINNY, or NINNYHAMMER. A simpleton.
OIL OF GLADNESS. I will anoint you with the oil of gladness; ironically spoken for, I will beat you.
PETTICOAT PENSIONER. One kept by a woman for secret services.
QUEER ROOSTER. An informant who pretends to be sleeping, and thereby overhears the conversations of thieves in night cellars.
RICHARD SNARY. A dictionary. A country lad, having been reproved for calling persons by their Christian names, being sent by his master to borrow a dictionary, thought to shew his breeding by asking for a Richard Snary.
SALT. Lecherous. A salt bitch; a bitch at heat, or proud bitch. Salt eel: a rope’s end, used to correct boys &c. at sea: you shall have a salt eel for supper.
SLAMKIN. A female sloven, one whose clothes seem hung on with a pitch-fork, a careless trapes.
THOROUGH COUGH. Coughing and breaking wind at the same time.
URINAL OF THE PLANETS. Ireland, so called from the frequent rains in that island.
VAULTING SCHOOL. A bawdy-house; also an academy where vaulting and other manly exercises are taught.
WEDDING. The emptying of a necessary house,** particularly in London. You have been at an Irish wedding, where black eyes are given instead of favours; saying to one who has a black eye.
XANTIPPE. The name of Socrates’ wife; now used to signify a shrew or scolding wife.
YANKEY, or YANKEY DOODLE. A booby, or country lout; a name given to the New England men in North America.
ZAD. Crooked like the letter Z. He is a mere zad, or perhaps zed; a description of a very crooked or deformed person.
*Touchingly, Grose throughout refers to the female genitals as “the monosyllable,” and I’m afraid we all know which short word he’s thinking of: under “C” the fine old Anglo-Saxon term is defined as “a nasty word for a nasty thing.”
**Toilet.
by David Cairns